There's No Going Back
by little brandybuck
Summary: two years after the fall in Savannah Ben finds himself wandering alone in the undead apocalypse, with nothing but an crippling wound to remember the past. He walks undeterred, determined to reach the man who left him that day. Alone. With only a painful hatred for the man that saved him. Kenny. OC'S REQUIRED!
1. Chapter 1

Ben blinked slowly as he opened his eyes finally, gazing round the old room that he had some how got to. It was a bedroom of some sort, a child's room, stuffed animals lay in bloodied heaps on the floor, pictures of what seemed to be the family that, or what Ben assumed, had lived there previously. His mind froze at the desperate need to remember ... How did he get here?

His memory suddenly snapped back to the ally. the fall, the walkers... Kenny! Where was Kenny.

Ben began to push himself up until he was on his forearms from his laying position on the bed, allowing him to see further into the seemingly empty room, upon a more detailed investigation he spotted a smeared, blotchy path of blood tailing toward the door on the far side of the room and multiple bloody hand prints on various piece of furniture that looked as if they had been there only a few hours.

The slow throbbing pain in his stomach had become unbearable in the short time he had been holding himself up, pulling up his torn, blood soaked jersey he found it masked by a thick, soiled white sheet tightly coiled round the aching wound. Ben patiently unwound the make shift bandage and threw it to one side, the first thing that he noticed was the smell, the unmisable smell of putrid flesh that lingers longer than needed. He clambered to his feet struggling like a turtle caught on it's back and sat on the edge of the bed to gain his breath. He really needed to find Kenny.

"Kenny?" He called, hearing his on voice echo round the room sent chills down his spine reminding him of the deadly silence that currently surrounded him

Standing on his own two feet was strange and reassuring at the same time, the foreign tingling that buzzed up his legs was unpleasant but he enjoyed knowing he could still walk after the near fatal accident he had indured and survived. Barely.

He wandered painfully over to a dresser that had a grey backpack placed carefully on top, along with a bottle of water and awool hat that looked slightly novel to Ben, with its ear flaps and long ropey tassels that would easily hang to his shoulders. And last of all was a note quickly scribbled on a piece of paper that had looked to have been done in a rush, in a panic even. Reading quickly over the two words on the paper confirmed silently that. Yes

He was alone

Good luck - Kenny

Ben screwed up the note and threw it against the wall, earning him little to no satisfaction. Letting out and angry screech he began to pace back and forth ignoring he agonising pain that spilt thought his torso

"He fucking left me !" He's screamed "good luck my ass"

He continued for a another minute until a violent sharp turn caused the gaping infected hole to split open, spilling a large of blood onto the already bloody jacket. He retrieved the remaining bedding and began to mop up the crimson that ran down his abdomen as the bleeding continued he began to feel faint. Watching as the room blurred over into a haze of confusion.

Ben slid down the wall as he pressed harder, willingly hopping that the bleeding would stop. When the bleeding was rendered to a few drops he regained his composure and stood up making up his mind that he should check the house before leaving. It took him a while to maneuver his way around the as ever time he move his body would react, not much was left, only some bandages, a lighter and a walking stick that Ben was happy to still be around.

He stepped silently through the abandoned house as he made his way towards the barred front door, after a painstaking effort to bind the weeping wound he packed the supplies he had found, put the hat on his head and decided to leave. He listened for the click of the lock as he turned the key. Peering out there was nothing. No noise. No nashing of hungry jaw. Not even wind

Just nothing.

He began to slowly limp down the road, leaning heavily on the old walking stick under his right hand. As Ben continues his steady pace he began to get more aggravated and angry as he thought back to the note that he had red before leaving. A wicked smile spread across his face conjoined with a distorted chuckle

"how ever long it takes, and where ever it's going to lead me I will find you Kenny" the grin returned to his face as he spoke aloud "and I'll make you wish you had killed me when you had the chance"


	2. Chapter 2: A Cabin In The Woods

I continued to walk in admirable silence as the search for something worth looking for, began to fall into dismay. Peering through the thick foliage ahead brough a wave of nostalgia of times with better bearings that seemed somewhat bearable. The thick crunch of brisk autumn leaves ran through the empty surroundings as I walked next to the young blonde by myside, a friend I could say. The acknowledgement of others during this time is enough to consider them friends, companions and fellow survivors or maybe just faces with stories to tell.

"so," the bubbly voice piped up "how are you holding up"

As she spoke she began gently running her hand down my arm, dragging a finger over the jagged slash across my wrist, the stitches criss crossed over the self inflicted mutilation that lay in plain sight, marking the hopelessness and anger in my heart. I pulled away and sighed, pushing the question away from myself in fear of reawakening memory's best left alone. As the silence stood, I could hear the unsettled and frustrated sigh from my partner, who turned to shake my arm in a rough and unneeded fashion.

"What!" I snapped, my body jolting round to face her, the rage evident in my voice

She pulled away, Standing back as if I was a dangerous animal in a pen. My heart jumped as she stood motionless, eyes wide and shoulders hunched in, but the saddest part of it all was the gun.

Aimed directly between my eyes.

It hurt as I realised the animosity that I displayed on a daily basis had led to the distrust and obvious fear from people I should care about. But the generosity and helping hands of others can easily be manipulated and taken advantage of all to quickly, meaning only one thing.

Don't. Trust. Anyone.

What came from my mouth, that should of been an apology, was a rancid reply that slashed the air in a bitter manner.

"Go on," I spat, staring down the muzzle of the gun "do yourself a favour. Shoot me"

"No," she snarled, pushing the gun back into it's holster "I'm not a monster. Not like you."

She turned to skulk away, leaving me in a lonely sea of silence that I was all to familiar with. I stood, my heart pounding as I called out to her

"Beth wait," I called, as loudly as I dared, as her tiny form disappeared into the distance "you know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry"

As I began to run a fiery pain shot through my torso like a bullet. The near fatal accident had left me no more than a walking scrapbook of scars and wounds that marked my body. A numbness now had begun to consume the vital sensations in my legs as I started to stumble blindly forward until I was unaware which foot was where.

The inevitably seemed to great, as I tumbled forward. to quick for my arms to save me. I fell with a thud and remembered no more.

As morning broke so did my unconscious state. The early morning sun rolled in deep oranges and heavy yellows which seemed to illuminate the sky, I dragged myself to my feet. As I turned a familiar wagging tail approached me at a sluggish pace.

"Hey, brushy" I said to him, holding my hand out to pet him " where's your mom gone. Where is she?"

He continued to pant happy as I dragged my hand over his mantle patterned fur, a feeble attempt to calm myself down as I began to shake uncontrollably. I had grown to distrust others that seemed to show a willingness to help, it was almost like an impulsive urge that told me to run when the situation arose and often portrayed me as a aggressive and spiteful man.

I stood up from my kneeling position and began to hobble in the direction I last saw my friend going. Brushstroke began bounding off, jumping over logs and other such debris until he was almost out of sight before reappearing only moments later.

"Would you stop doing that" I asked, glaring intensely at the large dog "you're gonna get both of us killed"

He stood to stare for a moment before begrudgingly hoping back to walk beside me, returning to his relaxed and rather sluggish pace. Brushstroke looked like any other Great Dane, he had a wagging tail and loveable attitude, but he somehow possessed an intelligence so great, that I could easily consider him my parter and had a preferable trait that I considered the best of all: he couldn't speak.

We walked for days. no sleep, no food, no water, we stopped for nothing until my legs could carry me no more. We had found nothing, not even a whisper. I glanced quickly at my surroundings, in the distance I saw a break in the trees. There was a cabin. Smoke fluttered out of the chimney calmly as I approached at a slow pace. Brushstroke followed, his body streamline and head ducked low.

A sputter of angry voices disturbed the peaceful grazing of a dozen crows as they jumped into flight, startling me momentarily. I walked quickly to a nearby tree until I could clearly see the mismatched group discussing, a tad to loudly, the fate of another survivor.

"Helen," an older man proclaimed "there is nothing we can do to help her, she is bitten. End of story"

"You don't know that Pete," the woman, Helen argued as she tucked a strand of black hair behind her ear "we've never see the process of a bite. She may be fine"

"sounds like bullshit" a younger man replied, who I could only assume to be her son.

"Don't talk to your mother like that, son" Pete said turning to face the raven haired man.

"Enough with this shit," a heavily pregnant lady snapped, as she looked over to a larger man by her side "Alvin do something"

"I'm staying out of this" Alvin said, steadily backing off "I ain't going though this again"

"It's highly unlikely she's going to be alright, Helen" a middle-aged hispanic man sighed, his face showing signs that he was tired of this type of unintended shit happening.

Helen stepped past the woman on the ground, her body suspiciously still and slumped. She was already dead, for how long I could not tell but the reanimation was bound to take place in the next few crucial minutes. I pulled my pistol out of the holster located on my right thigh and released the safety, my stomach jolted as the click of the pin bolted through the silent forest. I prayed they would notice her demise, I would of preferred to stay invisible.

"Your gonna have to go through me to get to her then" Helen threatened, crossing her arms tightly.

A harsh snarl erupted from the corpse as they continued to argue, as it struggled to its feet they only seemed to get louder.

They're going to notice it, right ?

It reached out, grasping at the air like a toddler reaching for a toy.

They have to notice it

It grabbed hold of Helen hair, and pulled her towards its bloodied teeth

They didn't fucking notice it!

She screamed, they screamed, brushstroke let out an almighty bark and I pulled the trigger.

...

'_I'm_ _not_ _good_ _with_ _these_' _I_ _said_, _handing_ _the_ _gun_ _back_ _to_ _Lee_.

_'You_ _know_ _your_ _talking_ _to_ _me_ _right!?_' _Came_ _my_ _gobsmacked_ _reply_.

...

I open my eyes from the recoil to see a clean shot through the walkers skull. I had just saved her life. I smiled smugly as the though of saving a life was to much to pass up on for self congratulations. I felt myself smiling as I watched Helen drive forward to pull her son into a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. I turned to walk away from the warm, satisfying feeling as if I was pushing me, like some sort of miasma. Before the absence of a curtain dog started to become an issue.

Turing back to the cabin I spotted him happily greeting each of its members in a calm, friendly manner. I choked back a hideous scream as the young man relinquished his shaken mother to scrub behind brush's ears.

"So," he said, holding his larger head between his hands "where's the person that saved my mom"

He barked in reply as I walked to lean against the tree I was hiding behind. I looked to the ground and bit my tongue, before speaking, I coughed.

"That's..." I signed, hoping this conversation would be over soon "his names Brushstroke" given it was a good enough explanation that some what proved my connection with the friendly animal.

"Well, my names Nick" he said, his tone airy and full of relief.

"Ben" I replied "it's good to meet someone that's not trying to either rip my throat out or threaten my life"

I slowly met each and every person and enjoyed the brief conversation we shared learning their names and stories. I hesitated at the invitation to join them inside. As I began to prepare for the worst another man, presumably Nick's age from what I could tell, burst seamlessly through the door to the cabin. I whipped out my gun at pointed it at him, an impulse that was now set in stone. I kept my gaise firm as my hand shook violently.

"Whoa, who the fuck is this guy" his tone shocked "and why is he pointing a gun at me?"

He sounded angry, but his face told another story. His features were crumpled and his eyes were squinted in fear. I felt a hand gently push my arm back to its former place by my side.

"It's alright darlin'," Hellen whispered, taking the gun out of my hand "he ain't gonna hurt you, are you Luke?"

"He's the one who pointed a gun at me"

"Are you" she snarled angrily, it seemed more a a statement than a question.

His reply came as a foul glare. That's all it took for a unspoken hatred to stand firmly between us. Luke turned and walked back inside, hastily slamming the door behind him. It was a frequent pattern that seemed to form each time a new group came and showed an interest in my well-being, there was always one asshole who had something to say. Wether it was my fault or not.

'Well Ben, congratulations at fucking something else. You didn't even need to try this time!' I thought.

I timidly followed them inside, glancing around at the seemingly dull decorum, I almost felt safe. But almost is never enough when the dead are walking. Out the corner I spotted him, his eyes fixed on me as I shuffled slowly down the hall. Helen paused and turned to stare, her glare matching his. I could tell a problem emerging from the second there eyes met. I ducked my head in submission as she turned to speak.

"Ben, honey. You go with Nick and Carlos, they'll make sure your alright for the time being" she said smiling widely "I'm gonna go have a little 'chat' with Luke about scaring you"

My confusion got the better of as I cocked my eyebrow and said: "why?"

"You saved my ass. so we treat you like one of our own" she said firmly, resting her hand on my shoulder and squeezed comfortingly "and ain't nobody gonna hurt one of us"

My surprise matched Luke's as she has chosen to side with a total strange she had met not 10 minutes previously. Her hand dropped promptly as she turned to skulk towards him. I couldn't help but enjoy the sheer terror that consumed him and his once hard and angry features, I could only chuckle maniacally as she grabbed the front of his orange shirt and pulled him roughly up the stairs.

"We should probably go," Nick said, pausing momentarily before grabbing the sleeve of my hoodie "and pretty damn quickly"

He began pulling me, a jolt of electric pain rang through my body as he dragged me further down the dimly lit corridor and past a spring loaded door to what seemed to be a rather well used kitchen. Only then would I snap.

"Holy fucking hell," I yelled, doubling over in pain as I felt the festering wound pulsate beneath the thin fabric "what the fuck was that for?"

I could feel my vision double as blood seeped slowly on to my hands as I pressed gently to check the damage. More than I would of liked. I felt my knees buckle underneath me as the rapid blood loss began to kick in. There was no way in hell I was going to die on the floor of a shitty kitchen surrounded my strangers, but I no longer through there was much choice in the matter. As my body started to give up on me, I allowed unconsciousness to consume my frail form. I fell willingly, lifelessly to the ground.

A/N: well shit ... That was some serious procrastination. Just two months shy of a year, I would like to say that's a new personal record but it's really not. I have a history of unfinished story's that are just kinda sitting dormant on my profile that I'm probably never going to finish. I made it extra long for you this time to make up for the time you've been waiting. I appreciate the patients. Any mistakes are my own I've had and extensive amount of time to re-read this and I've probably missed them, but ain't nobody got time for that, haha!

kisses, Littlebrandybuck :3


	3. Sorry

Okay guys I'm really, really, REALLY sorry for not updating for such a long time but some pretty heavy stuff has been happing, and I've been more preoccupied with that than writing new chapters. I'll try to start again but I'm not sure when that will be :/  
~Hugz Lil' B


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